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Green, the Marketing Mogul.

Posted by lofgray on April 8, 2008

Once known as a humble color created with the primary pigments of blue and yellow, Green has become a major world power, marketing mogul, and lifestyle idol. Upon leaving the crayon box fifty years ago Green decided like many before him to make a name of himself. Where other colors have failed Green swore on his plastic sharpener to succeed.

With a scrutinizing point, Green watched the careers of Yellow in the caution industry, and the plateaued achievements of red in the stop industry. For some time he panhandled as the icon of “Go” yet Green wanted so much more. Following the American Dream, Green counseled with Blue and Pink, two of the most successful colors in infant marketing and set out on the campaign trail. At first goings were slow for Green. He associated himself not only with “Go” but the action of moving forward, and money. A minor setback with the envy and greed marketing plan led him to a mass gathering called Woodstock where several motivated investors took interested in his business.

With Green’s new found support, a wide spread marketing campaign and a ten year business plan were developed and utilized. He wedged his foot into the doors of gardening hobbies, habitual pot smokers, and environmentalists. Green’ merging with Earth Day was a major success enabling him to associate with such habits as recycling, catalytic converters and healthy living. With the new found success Green took time to protest against aerosol cans and Styrofoam use at Burger King. He lobbied for the protection of the O-zone layer and forests. He encouraged paper over plastic, biodegradable materials, and natural cotton and hemp. However, even with this business break though Green still wanted more for his career.

Destined to be a celebrity Green’s business branched out into several subsidiaries. Under the icon of a green leaf he pitched himself to the automobile industry. Under the name “organic” he was able to become involved with farming and the FDA. Green’s business adventure into energy conservation has been his greatest achievement. His subsidiary “Energy Star” involves everything from light bulbs to water heaters, kitchen appliances to bathroom faucets. Green’s products can be found at almost every store and almost every market promoting a cleaner, healthier, happier life for the earth and those upon it.

Today green is a house hold name. His policies are discussed in elementary schools and advertised on radio and television. Business offers fall at his door step, recent ones being in the construction industry and new energy sources. He has come a long way from the rural Crayola box of 8 becoming not only a marketing genius but an alternative lifestyle cult with a loyal following and a religion supplement. With no signs that Green’s progress will end we can only expect him to become more involved in our lives.

Green has received the endorsements of GE, CSX, Toyota, Nobel Prize winner Al Gore, presidential nominee John McCain, and The People’s Republic of California.


One Response to “Green, the Marketing Mogul.”

  1. Hilarious! We need more opposition research on Green. He/She/It must not be allowed to succeed.

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