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Posts Tagged ‘Energy Concervation’

Green, the Political Power

Posted by lofgray on April 15, 2008

Green was admitted into the burn trauma center at an Ohio Hospital over the weekend due to melting around the edges. Witnesses say he was muttering “Snowing in April,” repeatedly when admitted. The legendary environmental color is suffering from anxiety attacks due to stress, according to hospital staff. Greens doctor said, “Our favorite Color is recovering quickly and will suffer only minor burn scars.”

Like many celebrities before him Green may have lost control due to the weight of his career. Like a Hollywood starlet, Green plans to admit himself into rehab after his medical release from the Ohio facility. After rubbing shoulders with drug addicted debutants Green will return to his energy consuming palace in Washington DC to continue mingling with government officials. Green knowingly has the ear of the Speaker of the House, and this just in President Bush as well. Evidence of Pelosi’s attachments to green can be found in Bill H.R. 3221 and related articles where “Creating Green Jobs,” is clearly stated. While President Bush was reported in the NY Times to be planning to propose a bill in relation to Global Warming, details not yet included. Reportedly Bush’s actions are because of the Clean Air Act and disagreement with a Cap and Trade. (Woohoo someone disagrees) But, Green’s mental state couldn’t be improved by these events even after his GE florescent light bulbs were endorsed for monopoly over the favorable incandescent bulbs.

Nurses at the hospital have over heard Green’s staff soothing his waxy disposition with calming words. Such statements as, “People don’t know plants need CO2 to survive,” and “Our lobbyists won’t ever let them drill for oil in the Gulf or Alaska,” lead some nurses to believe evidence against Global Warming, and unproductive Energy Conservation methods are the main source of his breakdown. Few members of the staff present in Green’s care debate the issue. Ira Cycle a dietary assistant serving Green said, “He [Green] Is simply overwhelmed by the destruction the earth has faced at our evil human hands. His whole life has been dedicated to improving our environment even though many people choose only to harm it.”

The Crayola’s Cadet Blue said, “Green is suffering from a guilty conscience,” to reporters as he was leaving the building. Although Green has tried to distance himself from the sin of greed it appears it has caught up to him. Even his relation to passion didn’t improve his state of mind. If Cadet Blue’s statement were to be proven true by a psychologist, Green will have become the marketing mogul envied by heartless slimy salesmen across the country.


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