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Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Home Schooling Elite Ideas

Posted by lofgray on April 29, 2008

A new threat to our nation is on rise. They come from many different classes, races, and religions. They are patient, loyal, and determined. They have the persistence of the army, and the creativity of terrorists. They are shunned by union Teachers, hated by the Republic of California, and ignored by local counties. They are the enemy of schools and parents across the nation.

It isn’t easy to spot one, like snipers they are crafty in camouflage. Look closely and you could find one browsing shelves at office supply stores, toy stores, art stores, and book stores country wide. The odds are one is there, with you at the grocery store, in your neighborhood, just down the street. Their minions most often give them away. Children abnormally well behaved, well educated, and displaying manners follow these abominations everywhere they go.

The population of homeschooling parents is on the rise and we as loyal lemmings must fight against the crisis. They are worse than global warming, the energy crisis and conservative voters combined. These seemingly innocent people will single handedly destroy the world by teaching their children such things as logic, critical thinking skills, independence, religion, lofty morals, and self reliance. These outlandish members of society encourage problem solving over memorization, free thinking over collectivism. They personally strive to educate their children to levels beyond the standard public so their breed will be better than yours. But, these elitists’ don’t stop there.

Stay at home parents who teach their children add to the unemployment percentage, bargain shop, and clip coupons to hurt our struggling economy. Instead of buying large taxable objects with their tax refund they’ll instead purchase used or discounted schooling materials for their spoiled, over disciplined children.

Your local county is doing their part to demoralize the home school movement. They are ignoring their education needs and making information like curriculum guidelines and text book resources difficult to obtain. Despite these efforts the home schooling elitists’ are inducting more members into their secret societies. We now need your help to abolish these radical ideas.

How can I help, you ask? First encourage your local representative to continue taxing these individuals for public education. Don’t let them use their school supplies for tax deductions. Continue to forget the love compassion and care they give to their children. Instead ridicule them for their long lonely days, endless responsibilities, and self sacrifice. Show off the extra money you have as a house hold with two working parents, your children’s social popularity and all the cool things you buy at full price. Encourage your children to tease, bully and ostracize their children. We didn’t stop with civil rights, we didn’t stop with abolishing slavery, and we won’t stop saving the environment from ourselves. So, we can’t stop upholding inefficient public education.


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